voicetest the voiceless

[focusedvoid]

They're not dead.

Less dead than they'd felt, at least. Their shell doesn't normally take so long to reform.

Then again. Their shell doesn't usually break of their own violation as they ascended in a boiling rage, ate at least one realm, a god, and all the Godseekers.

(That last point is debatable, actually. There's some odd sense, deep under their...shell? Void? Wherever they once stored things like Isma's Tear, much deeper now...that the sea-mind is still there, sluggish and held in a stasis. They're already adjusting enough, and they don't seem to be dying or trying to kill them, so that problem is neatly sorted as 'for later'.)

They push their body to stand. Their horn clangs uncomfortably loudly against the grate they've apparently woken up beneath. They're somewhere in the Royal Waterways. A quick check of the map--or, not so quick, as it takes time to locate where it had been--shows they've risen about halfway through, closer to the City of Tears than the White Palace. They'll go to the Stag Station in the City Storerooms next.

So they think. Complications arise on the way.

The Infection is gone, leaving dead Flukes, Pilflips, and Hwurmps in piles enough it takes time to force their way past. Their body seems too small. No, their body is fine--there's something wrong with perception itself. That will take time to adjust to.

Then, they discover the Monarch Wings now stretch and warp when used, twisting around the nearest pipes after landing before the Knight forcibly calls them back. Shade Wings, they decide to call these.

Once they're high enough to hear the rain above, they realize a noise they'd ascribed to water running in the distance is, in fact, something swirling behind their mask. Many somethings. All the fragments of Siblings with enough self left, staring out from their eyes. It's disconcerting.

By the time they actually get out of the Waterways, they're using their Shade Wings to grip ledges and drag themselves up, with those holding onto things better than their own arms are with the Mantis Claw. 

The Knight faceplants awkwardly onto the floor of the building Lemm's shop is in. If the City is the same as below, there's little left to try killing them in the area.

They'll just take a moment here, thanks.

Comments

[capitalcurator]

He can't understand the whole of what they're going through, obviously. But it assuages a great deal of his concern to know they're capable of saying this much. The Knight has never fibbed about anything. A little of the tight feeling in his chest smooths itself over; the rest remains as a stubborn knot.

"That's good to hear."

His tone is... heavy. How are you? - Better. - That's good to hear. What a totally ordinary exchange, except that they're effectively a deity whose own rage apparently frightens them. That's good to hear poorly covers it. Even so he suspects it's the only correct thing to say.

Lemm's hand smooths back and forth over the shell of his chest a couple of times as he considers how best to broach the other topic that desperately needs broaching. It should probably be done now, so that he can't be accused of withholding information.

Hmm. Bluntly? Yes, bluntly.

Lemm unceremoniously drops the bombshell: "I ran into the... into your sibling. Siblings," he corrects, suddenly uncertain. "They're fine," he clarifies, quickly. "Can't say it went well, but they're fine." Ah. Saying that out loud does make the anxious feeling spike considerably; Lemm darts his eyes away for a moment. He is discovering unpleasant new facets to this thing as he goes.

[focusedvoid]

The Knight sits up straight. Their current thoughts are about Dream and Godhome and the Lord of Shades, and that's where they continue lingering on, completely misunderstanding.

Here? Greenhorn or/and another? They couldn't have got here. Surely, the Knight would've noticed an entire Sibling wandering so far away...but they hadn't noted Greenhorn in particular in the crowd around Myla that first time, had they.

When they give an internal poke, Greenhorn jabs right back, mildly offended at being accused.

A collective no-not-me shivers and reflects; none of them would sneak like that! They'd go with Strongest Sib--they'd go with the Knight, with their Nail and obvious power. Not almost alone. Or at least not without a great, great number of other Siblings around.

[capitalcurator]

There is a subtle turn of his head to the cleaner, if scuffed, floor, and to where the Hollow Knight sat huddled and damp.

It probably says something to how unlikely that meeting should have been, if the Knight's first thoughts are of other siblings.

Lemm looks back at them and shakes his head mutedly. His horns incline towards the window slightly, at his shop's now-curtain-framed familiar view of the statue in the square.

"No. Your tallest," he clarifies. "And Hornet."

Lemm waits to see what they do with this information, first.

[focusedvoid]

The Knight's thoughts slam to a halt. Their writing paw matches. They're staring.

Tallest and Hornet.

They--Lemm wouldn't have gone to Deepnest, as a scattered spark of panic tries to worm its way across their thoughts. They don't know enough to assume--but they instinctively scan Lemm for injury still.

He looked at the floor. They were giving him enough attention to notice, and the scratches--

--those aren't drag marks at all.

how?

Quietly reeling, the simple question is a little shakier than they'd like.

[capitalcurator]

It's too early to tell if they're going to be upset with him over how it went. Lemm minds his patience.

"That was exactly my first question! Thought they were off in Deepnest getting -" a vague hand wave "- looked after. Next thing I know I'm going for a walk and I see those horns in the Royal Quarter and I think... Well, a statue doesn't just get up and walk about."

He sighs.

"They were just... hanging about over there. Struck me as odd. So I took them back here, and Hornet came to collect them after a time. I don't think she knew they'd wandered off." Pointed a weapon at me, he considers saying. Maybe in a moment. It doesn't seem like the most important part of this retelling for now.

Lemm thinks maybe that covers the basics. Wait, no, he made a promise, can't forget that.

"I don't think anyone else saw," he reports, feeling strangely dutiful about it. "Certainly no one did after we met, at any rate."

[focusedvoid]

So Hornet wasn't with them at the start? That's a genuine surprise, that their sibling had escaped her watch again.

They'd left to the Broken Tramway the last time.

The last time they know of.

...They could have been restless. They should be restless, the Knight thinks, after so much time in Deepnest--in the same room of Deepnest, and an impossible amount of time locked in with a furious god before that.

It's not fair, nor is it sensible, to expect them to stay in place.

Are they

Lemm already said they were fine.

There's no doubt their largest sibling could hide much, if they so wished, with their mental fortifications strong enough for the Dream Nail and their own quiet Void-prodding to be brought up short. This on top of their being a Vessel, and less expressive than the Knight knew possible, even after having their own oddness pointed out to them countless times. Lemm's not to blame even if they later learn that isn't true.

Are you alright? is what they settle on instead.

They've only known their sibling at their supposed-purest at the end of the Pantheon, and their desperate, agonized lowest. The Knight can't begin to guess what might've happened.

[capitalcurator]

The Knight seems to be taking a while to think. He doesn't like that they crossed that out. The whole thing sits uncomfortably with him while he waits.

The question is... Is he-? Is he. Lemm stares at it for a moment.

Yes of course he's fine. No, he's trying to be forthcoming, that won't work.

Suddenly miserable, Lemm sits back a bit and drags the details out of himself in reluctant confession.

"They didn't take the statue very well," he begins. "And I raised my voice, shouldn't have - I was - thought they'd poke themselves on a relic." His hands fidget together in his lap, and he can't seem to meet the Knight's gaze. "They didn't take well to my chatter either, I don't think. Hornet didn't approve, but she - I didn't ask for - I haven't made a good impression."

Perhaps on the surface of it it seems like he's skipped their actual question and is trying to answer the one they crossed out.

By the way he's shrunk back and seems to be steeling himself, however, maybe not.

"And I've found no answers to any of your problems, Knight. Not for you or your little friend. So." He clears his throat and caps it all off. "You'd be right to be disappointed, I imagine."

[focusedvoid]

The Knight already asked if he was alright. Fine, he'd answered.

They tamp down frustration. He's been tied up in a complicated situation. They've been dealing with complicated feelings even before their sibling's sudden appearance. Holding it against Lemm would be painfully hypocritical.

Their head angles back over their shoulder, at the window. The curtains. The courtesy--or the panic--that likely inspired their presence.

They turn back and dip their head in partial understanding.

In truth, I can't tell you what they may have thought of your chatter, but I believe they aren't used to responding to anyone at all. They rarely have to me. It's probably not personal, is what they're saying. Unless it's personal against them both, which would be odd. (They'd prefer to get annoyance back than the usual wall of nothing.) Or to your voice. But you didn't do it again I bet. and they don't need more wounds.

The Knight shifts over, paw uncertainly hovering above his elbow a moment before lightly tapping it.

I'm not disappointed, they offer. Did they give the impression they expected him to find a solution to their problems? Chunks of time before they left are blurry. All this is new.
And don't worry about Hornet. She's

A pause. They're not sure how to talk about her. Cold and dutiful. Lonely and still alive. Pitied and killed her siblings, taking care of one after believing them barely more than an cursed, empty shell for so long.

The first person in the ruins to kill them multiple times in a row.

They discard all of these and aim for something a little more lighthearted.

I have difficult siblings.

[capitalcurator]

He fidgets. So much in fact that he gives the impression of a far younger bug expecting to be scolded. He hasn't even given some of the details, yet more of his social failings or ways things went wrong that they ought to be upset about as well, but they...

They are doing their best to reassure him they aren't. Lemm works through their words with discomfort he is admittedly not hiding all that well.

The Hollow Knight showed... decorum. Politeness maybe, proper Knightly behaviour towards anyone. The flash of nail on needle, and they'd taken the handshake, and the tea - but those things aren't necessarily personal either, he could too easily be reading them too positively, and in his head they are outweighed by his mistakes. Until (unless) he learns more and comes back to examine that interaction in better light Lemm can take little reassurance from it.

The Knight's words are solid, tangible. He knows the Knight far more personally, and there is no room for misunderstanding. Their writing, their voice, that Lemm trusts himself to interpret better.

It's possible it didn't go as badly as he has come to think. And the Knight is not disappointed. Their touch is doubly reassuring. They're not disappointed.

Lemm sits with their words for a while, and cautiously looks up.

"Aye. Well they've plenty of reason to be." He pauses, glances back down, and huffs a sigh. "I find myself wanting to be useful to you," Lemm admits finally. "Feels like I'm not earning your... I know it doesn't work that way, I'm not that foolish! Frustrating as anything, though."

Some of the tension has bled out of him, regardless. Lemm rallies a bit and fixes the Knight with a long, appraising stare.

"It's already occurred to me having siblings all of a sudden might be difficult for you. Hope you don't mind blunt observation. Not sure why you keep coming back here otherwise." This does not seem particularly self-depreciative - there's a little note of humour there, despite everything. Their reassurances really have helped.

[focusedvoid]

The Knight taps a claw on the quill, turning over his reactions in their head. Concern over their sibling. Concern they could be hurt. Concern they...dislike him. As others have.

The glass behind them throws soft light across the counter. They can see the muzzy outline of their shadow. The memorial, the fountain, something he's been wondering about for so long.

...They'll try to ask their sibling, later. They should work out what happened and ask around Deepnest regardless. It'd be preferable to know how they might expect it again. They should know if their powerful sibling might hold some sort of grudge. No matter how unlikely a response might be.

But Lemm isn't continuing on about that, and they follow his lead.

I don't know if you can be with this, they tell him straightforwardly. But you helped me greatly with your observations in Dirtmouth. I needed the push and words you gave me.

They pat his arm again, more firmly this time.

...His other observation is, indeed, correct.

It's strange.

They halt there, staring down at the paper. He might expect elaboration. They're not sure how to put how natural it feels most of the time, with the Siblings linked with them, and Hornet and their tallest sibling a confusing but cared-for presence in the distance. The latter, they don't...really know what to do with.

[capitalcurator]

He fidgets much less in the meantime. Nor is he inclined to start chatting away again just yet. The quiet settles back in; this is an atmosphere he's coming to know as familiar, the ever-present rain-noise with the added fact there is someone in the room with him deciding what to say next. Lemm can be comfortably patient in this, and idly gazes out of the window as he slowly gets a handle on his nerves.

When they do continue, the first sentence only barely grazes him. The rest is more reassurance. About feeling useless, yes, and about the Knight's state of being. It was the right thing to do, going to visit, they're brighter now and obviously better for his... counsel?

Counsel isn't quite right, he's perfectly happy to think he bullied them into it. Either way he commits to making the same choice again, and quicker.

While he is thinking about this they pat his arm again, and this time he catches their paw lightly in his own hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. (They are here, solid, they came back. As they said.)

"Expect bickering," he matter-of-factly advises, mostly as a deflection in case they don't want to share more than they have. As he talks, Lemm casts an appraising eye over the Knight, finally studying them properly like he's felt compelled to since he walked in and saw them sitting there. Checking for damage he knows he won't find. "Considering it all I'd say strange is normal. It'll fall into some sort of routine I'm sure."

[focusedvoid]

A tightness in their chest that's been there since Lemm wandered in out-of-sorts finally loosens, and relieved claws curl around his.

He was far too kind to be bullying, and they'd rather exasperatedly say as much if they knew. It's for the best they don't.

You think? I'm not sure what to expect. They're strange for siblings, as well. A whole strange family--and doesn't that feel bizarre to think, more than sibling alone.

If they're well enough to make it all the way here, you might be right. I'm glad to know they're not as bedbound. Perhaps I can start exploring Hallownest with them as well. Maybe even their tallest sibling and Lemm together--but that's very much getting ahead of themselves.

[capitalcurator]

Lemm's scrutiny of them lasts a while. They might catch him tilting his head very slightly to one side just to adjust the angle of his view of them, as if some back edge of their wing might be concealing some thorn scratch or the like.

He shrugs. "You're hardly quarrelsome, but I'll be surprised if the lot of you never have a spat. That's just the way of it." (...Nothing. Satisfied, Lemm settles back into place with a sigh, largely unaware he was fussing to begin with.) He holds up a hand like he's making a pledge, and... smirks. "Greenhorn however is exempt, as they are incapable of any wrongdoing whatsoever. Scholar's intuition."

The anxiousness is definitely fading. Holding their hand helps. As does the talking, now that it's no longer full of his misgivings.

Still, maybe he'd be wrong not to pull the brakes a bit, here? Lemm gives this some consideration first, and then gives an uncertain hum.

"...I'd play my cards carefully with the Hollow Knight. I did, or I tried to. Lot of things seem to set them on edge, and I'm not silly enough to think all of it was my own blundering." A pause. Lemm shakes his head and sighs. "You know all this already."

[focusedvoid]

'Hardly quarrelsome.' Technically correct, but they reach up and pat the hilt of their Nail. They don't need to be quarrelsome in the argumentative sense when they can cut their way through a problem.

...Not that they do that if they don't have to. Hallownest is unique in how much slicing's been required. Moreso in how many times they have fought their siblings.

Still.

Remember to tell me how Greenhorn is exempt after they get into your other room. They gesture towards the door. They haven't forgotten!

The Knight dips their head and leans back a little, tapping a line above about their sibling's lack of response. They're difficult to read. I've tried to be careful, but most our interactions have mainly been when they're resting in a quiet nest, so I haven't much idea of what might upset them yet.

[capitalcurator]

He shakes his head. He can't speak to physical fights, just what he knows of the Knight as a person. As far as Lemm's experience goes they have gone out of their way to avoid argument, not that it's always worked on him.

"Pah. Greenhorn wouldn't dare." Lemm's confident look fades a tad as he glances across at the curtained room, not so certain about that answer now it's out.

...Regardless. More important things to be concerned with. This is dismissed.

Difficult to read? For the Knight, as well? He supposes that makes perfect sense, but it still comes as a mild surprise.

"Don't take them by their memorial," he advises. And thinks a bit longer, ticking a fingertip against the counter. Eventually he heaves an exasperated sigh and shakes his head. "S'all I have, this sort of thing's out of my range. You'll have to take it as it comes. And keep a cooler head than me, which shouldn't be hard."

Lemm glances at their joined hands and reminds himself he is supposed to be slipping out of high anxiety mode, not into it. Right.

"Any thoughts on what to do about the mining-bug, yet?"

[focusedvoid]

The Knight stops writing to stare directly into Lemm's face.

Both of them are obviously questioning the wisdom of those words. They'll refrain from implying it further, then, not least because Greenhorn might genuinely expect free access.

I'll try not to. I don't know if I would've thought of that. True enough. Could you elaborate more on what happened?

They rock back again, tipping further this time. Their shared grip keeps them from dropping all the way into lying down.

Lord of Shades presence might help? Physical distance may have done something.
I'll be visiting Seer to see if she knows anything after this.

[capitalcurator]

He waits to give the first thing some thought, even as he reads the latter and nods.

The self-imposed limits he's put on regarding where he might go and who he might talk to have held him back from meeting her yet - almost as much as his disdain for new faces. "I still don't have a grasp on what you told me, but if anything's... floating about in your dreams after the Lord of Shades... happened," he is struggling with these concepts also, but never mind, moving on "then yes, I guess that's exactly where I'd start. Might want to work up to it a bit," he adds, with a meaningful look.

Nothing else he can offer there. Ugh, his collection for a problem he can actually work on! Well, the first question will do for now. Lemm takes a breath and does his best to recount.

"I walked with the Hollow Knight from the Royal Quarter to my shop, and we passed the Memorial on the way. And they just..." He flickers his free hand in the air vaguely. "Started scrambling away from it on their knees. Did all this staring, all fidgety and strange. Looked like -"

Well, they didn't look like them, quite so much, but it had clicked into the same place as seeing the Knight upset. A different flavour of upset, maybe. Neither of which Lemm has a taste for.

He stalls.

"Looked bad," he finishes, simply. "You want the rest?"

[focusedvoid]

Give it practice? That or be tactful. They somewhat doubt that's his meaning--although they're reminded they have to expect her guests. Their discomfort isn't enough to entertain leaving Myla trapped, but they know they're going to be dealing with...oddness.

Not for the first time in Hallownest, the Knight wishes they could sigh. It seems to give some relief. (For Iselda in particular.)

Back to their sibling. They listen raptly, fixing details carefully into their mind. It's rough to imagine--it must have been worse to experience firsthand.

I They hesitate. If you think it could be useful. One incident isn't enough to properly predict others, but it's better than nothing at all.

[capitalcurator]

"More or less." Sorry, his own tact is still lacking. He can't really elaborate enough to say don't frighten yourself worse with it to say exactly what he means, and partly he doesn't dare assume they'd take that well to begin with. "Go slow, at least."

Hopefully that will do. Lemm shrugs loosely, and gives their hand a faint squeeze to give them some signal he's about to let go. They had almost been using him as an anchor a moment ago; wouldn't do to let them topple backwards. Not during a serious conversation like this, anyway.

"Don't know if it would or wouldn't. All this is beyond me. But you should know the details before they earn the label of 'things I've kept to myself'." He looks mildly uncomfortable. "I'll be brief. They went all rigid when I raised my voice, same sort of thing I suspect. And they clashed with Hornet," he finally tells them, and folds his hands together to stop himself fidgeting. A little of the guilty admission tone creeps back in: "She'd have clashed with me otherwise."

'Clashed with.' She would have skewered him. Lemm decisively leaves this out.

[focusedvoid]

It's fair enough advice. Slightly rankling, but the intention and truth behind it is enough to keep annoyance from showing. This is a...delicate situation. Carefulness is paramount.

They let him pull back. Unconsciously, they wrap slightly further around the cushion.

Raised voice could be anything. The Radiance had loud thoughts with the Dream Nail, when they managed to use it. They'd put their bet on that.

The Knight bristles, head snapping up. Why?What happened? Again, they survey Lemm for possible injury, even though there wasn't any when they checked before.

[capitalcurator]

Lemm has his own thoughts on why they'd reacted, though perhaps neither of them have come to conclusions that are mutually exclusive. It's just that despite him saying so, because it's the easiest way to get the sense across... he hadn't gotten all that much louder.

Lemm, in turn, bristles. He sits up straighter.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything." Not completely true. The guilt worming its way back through him says so, anyway. "I suspect she wasn't pleased to see the Hollow Knight with - in my shop, that's as far as I can figure it. They agreed to come out of the rain. I didn't do anything," he repeats, less insistent and more... mildly pleading.

[focusedvoid]

They immediately try to relax. It wasn't about him, it was about her, and what she did, and--what happened?

But he doesn't know. Lemm wouldn't hide if he'd provoked Hornet somehow.

That their sibling had gotten in-between, that's--that's the big mystery. The Knight doesn't know why they'd fight her in Lemm's stead, or defense, or what. I's upsetting and alarming. And not his fault.

She didn't and you were unhurt? They were unhurt?

[capitalcurator]

He seems to relax a bit when there's no sign of a pushback. Logically he knows, he knows; the Knight was not accusing him. Despite this he couldn't help rising to his own inexplicable sense of wrongdoing. Some things are engrained.

Lemm gives a plain nod. "All three unharmed," he responds, just to be factual. "Though I can't say I liked seeing the Hollow Knight rush about like that, after... what you told me of them. I'm guessing Hornet would have someone check them over, after."

He tilts his head, still troubled.

"I had no warning, and not a clue how to conduct myself. If we happen to meet again I'd be inclined to be better equipped." Hint, hint. "Though I won't expect Hornet to change her mind, after the impression I gave."

[focusedvoid]

Lemm is not a trained warrior, and their sibling has had enough of injury. Hornet, they hold less concern about. She was a bigger threat in this situation, and she'd survive a knock or two.

After they think this, they suspect they should feel guilt. Perhaps they'll be guilty about the lack of that guilt later.

I apologize, they write to Lemm, still. You wouldn't hide if it were your fault. You already told me you didn't know what happened. I am worried and unsure how to respond to it.

The Knight isn't used to worrying about anyone, much less several at once. Not when it involves the closest friend they've had in--a long, long time. Certainly not when the siblings they only fairly recently learned they have are acting unpredictably.

I'll ask both of them about it all. Very soon. I would prefer to be equipped too.

[capitalcurator]

Relic Seeker Lemm is not used to worrying either, and is almost as out of his depth regarding how to navigate this situation. Not quite, maybe, but still far less than most. But: he is getting a damn sight better at realising when he's being unreasonable.

The finger-drumming on the counter starts up again for a short stint, and then stops again just as quickly when he comes to some private conclusion. Lemm shakes his head.

"No," he sighs. "No apology necessary, Knight, I'm still tripping over myself it seems." The show of trust, however, is appreciated.

Which brings him to this.

"Tell me whatever you find out. I've a feeling I should take an interest."

This, too, isn't quite right. Rather it isn't specific enough. Lemm stares down at the counter for a bit, suddenly intent.

"They're your family, do you see? I ought to pay attention to them as well, at least from a distance. For the..." His gaze flicks sidelong to the stack of notes. "...Life you're building." That he is part of. That he would preferably not make a mess of on their behalf.

"The more information a scholar has the better they can do with it."