voicetest the voiceless

[focusedvoid]

They're not dead.

Less dead than they'd felt, at least. Their shell doesn't normally take so long to reform.

Then again. Their shell doesn't usually break of their own violation as they ascended in a boiling rage, ate at least one realm, a god, and all the Godseekers.

(That last point is debatable, actually. There's some odd sense, deep under their...shell? Void? Wherever they once stored things like Isma's Tear, much deeper now...that the sea-mind is still there, sluggish and held in a stasis. They're already adjusting enough, and they don't seem to be dying or trying to kill them, so that problem is neatly sorted as 'for later'.)

They push their body to stand. Their horn clangs uncomfortably loudly against the grate they've apparently woken up beneath. They're somewhere in the Royal Waterways. A quick check of the map--or, not so quick, as it takes time to locate where it had been--shows they've risen about halfway through, closer to the City of Tears than the White Palace. They'll go to the Stag Station in the City Storerooms next.

So they think. Complications arise on the way.

The Infection is gone, leaving dead Flukes, Pilflips, and Hwurmps in piles enough it takes time to force their way past. Their body seems too small. No, their body is fine--there's something wrong with perception itself. That will take time to adjust to.

Then, they discover the Monarch Wings now stretch and warp when used, twisting around the nearest pipes after landing before the Knight forcibly calls them back. Shade Wings, they decide to call these.

Once they're high enough to hear the rain above, they realize a noise they'd ascribed to water running in the distance is, in fact, something swirling behind their mask. Many somethings. All the fragments of Siblings with enough self left, staring out from their eyes. It's disconcerting.

By the time they actually get out of the Waterways, they're using their Shade Wings to grip ledges and drag themselves up, with those holding onto things better than their own arms are with the Mantis Claw. 

The Knight faceplants awkwardly onto the floor of the building Lemm's shop is in. If the City is the same as below, there's little left to try killing them in the area.

They'll just take a moment here, thanks.

Comments

[capitalcurator]

There is work to be done, and not all of it requires being scrutinised at precise magnification. Lemm does not take notes when he's out; trusting paper to hold everything he needs to remember would mean lugging around a block of notes that could be rendered unusable at the drop of a hat, and he trusts his head just fine. He copies down what he remembers of the Black Egg Temple at length and in detail. Nothing is missed.

He visits the Memorial in the square again halfway through, gazing up at the ceremonial shoulderpieces just to be sure of himself. The stack of papers in the tray on his counter is amended. Not every detail will make it into the final draft, especially not if he wants to avoid treating it like a how-to guide for crimes against morality, but cementing the finer points for himself will shape the end result nonetheless.

He sleeps. He wakes. He stocks up on supplies and avoids the now-apparently-local charlatan like a very different sort of plague when he sights her doing the same. Glares are exchanged at a safely broad distance. He returns to the shop in an unpleasant mood and sets to work on the very last of this layer of the Arcane Egg.

As it turns out, the jammed focus on the lens matters. It matters enough to warrant stopping before he's quite done and sitting there in silence for a while, staring blankly off into the middle distance with his face resting on one hand. The last of the translation on the page trails off just as it starts getting incomprehensible.

[focusedvoid]

They're close enough already, so they decide they'll visit Lemm. It's something that they can do now that they're not only doing business, checking in. If he happens to have something else to ask them to do, it'd be just as well.

(Technically, they have places to be. They'd rather not return to Deepnest yet. If they knew their Sibling's status better, they'd try to call them away from it, but that could be terribly dangerous. Wishful thinking.)

On the way, they visit the Pleasure House and Marissa, of course, who fully recognizes them as her recurring audience. They have no reason to hurry and listen to several more songs, including one she patches together with faint memories of another, apologizing for the lack of professionalism. They shake their head sharply and encourage her to keep going.

It's beautiful.

They finally remember that applause is custom for after good performances and give her much of it. She bows to them, and the Knight returns it before continuing on.

Directly after, they come across Emilitia peering out of her flower-adorned space. She giggles to them about how everyone's dropped dead completely, and how fun it is now to see they haven't! They hardly need the Dream Nail to hear her gleeful yet. With how things are slowly beginning to change, they wonder if she'll remain Eternal as she believes.

They pass by bodies of guards and take a moment to dip their head to the ones that seem more intact. They're fairly certain there's nothing lingering there. Even so, it feels a better action than ignoring them as they have all the other times.

When the Knight shows up at Lemm's shop, they come in quietly. They're trying to avoid being disruptive more than genuinely attempting stealth.

[capitalcurator]

Lemm is far less present than usual. He sees them enter, but there's no turn of the head or spark-up of expectant chatter. He just sighs like he's preparing to do something particularly challenging, and before doing anything else the cracked lens is dropped surreptitiously into a drawer behind the counter.

He dips his head and rubs at his eyes with the heels of both hands, and at this he seems to recover a bit.

"Knight." He's quiet, though, and it's straight back to resting his face against his hand. "Flying visit, or business?"

[focusedvoid]

They make little note of whatever Lemm put away. His general demeanor grabs their attention far more thoroughly, and they're scanning for some sort of injury before they even realize it.

After a few moments of hesitation, they wander to stand on the other side of the counter rather than hopping straight up onto it.

Visit. I was nearby. I w I can stay away if you need.

[capitalcurator]

As soon as the paper comes out Lemm is visibly preparing himself. He stares at the wall while they write, totally unmoving, and then when the writing is presented to him he makes a stiff noise and leans heavily on the counter to squint down at it. It takes him a little longer to read than normal.

"...No. I just need a moment."

He'd love to say something flippant here, maybe poke at them a bit about how he was joking about the flying visit thing, he didn't actually expect them to be visiting now, et al. He does not have the capacity for it right now, which is probably the only positive. He is going to have to offer some kind of explanation, however, and it's joined by a faint press of his fingers to his forehead.

"Stared too long at my work. It'll pass." His other hand is flapped vaguely at the Knight, indicating in some roundabout way that he doesn't expect them to leave. This is followed up by a somewhat less dismissive, "Good of you. To drop by I mean. Something you want?"

[focusedvoid]

They tap the first few words again. They were really just nearby and thought to visit.

Nothing in particular. Is there anything you'd like me to do? Their first urge is to head off anyway and leave him in peace, but while everyone has off days, the Knight hasn't seen him this way before. It's putting them on edge, so that urge is flatly ignored.

[capitalcurator]

More uncomfortable reading, and then an equally slow shake of the head. ...Except he's pretty sure having a guest means being accommodating, or at least making conversation.

Lemm relents. "Actually, I -"

He makes to stand, and the resulting spike in his head is followed by several fascinating words he's picked up in older languages than this. Reluctantly he sinks back down into his seat, and picks up the sentence again after a short pause. "...Did... want to ask. Since it's not business. What do you... like doing?"

Right this second standing and moving around is not an available Lemm function. He'll try again in a minute. It is fading - just a lot slower than he'd like. On the plus side, it's helping him not to overthink before he speaks.

[focusedvoid]

The Knight's worry only grows, and they snap over to stand at his side in fear of his falling over. Is this a migraine? They know of those, described in enough ways across cultures to remind them of the pain from a mask breaking, stretched out for far too long a time.

They should leave, part of them feels certain of.

They're not going to until Lemm requests it.

The question is given an attempt at an answer, though they make the glyphs intentionally larger, which slows them down significantly.

I like to travel/explore. I sometimes like to hunt, and often to study things in observable ways. To find/hear secrets that no-one else is able to learn.

This is all more than they've shared with anyone in what amounts to literal generations. Their concern is high enough they can't muster much consideration of that fact.

Do you I suspect you may benefit from rest.

[capitalcurator]

Amid a wave of quiet gratitude for the larger script, Lemm can't help but feel some attachment to what they've put, too.

"I'm well-rested, Knight. I was focused too closely on... fine print. It will pass." Truthfully he doubts it would have been quite this bad if it hadn't been Arcane information he was looking at, but that's neither here nor there.

He folds his hands together on the desk and tilts his head just slightly, partly out of curiosity and partly to see if it helps his eyes focus properly on the paper.

"In another life you could have been a Relic Seeker, with what you've just written. It's no wonder my collection's become what it is with you so motivated." He pauses. Some mirth sneaks into his voice, despite everything. "No need to shout, though."

[focusedvoid]

...They'll take his word for it. At the moment. He wouldn't hesitate on removing them from his shop if it was truly so agonizing. Still, they continue to keep standing near just in case he's underestimating the pain, or overestimating himself.

They stare at him as though he's just sprouted his own set of Wings before it clicks. Headshake, annoyed, partly for show.

I'd always be too violent to be a Relic Seeker, even like one stubborn as yourself, and I'll shout as much as I need, thank you.

[capitalcurator]

He doesn't laugh, that'd be beyond stupid of him with how he's feeling, but he does take on a very subtly amused look.

"It's true that a Relic Seeker rarely carries a Nail, but you can get some good heft with a Wanderer's Journal, as they say. Maybe you'd fit the part better than you think. Wouldn't that be a picture."

Lemm smooths a hand up to his longer horn, pushing to put pressure on it at certain points. The pulsing in his head fades a bit by the time he runs out of arm. Not squinting hard through a blurry lens an inch from a relic helps more. His hand falls back to the desk and he tilts his head down to regard the Knight with much less of a struggle.

"Besides that, I enjoy your shouting almost as much as I enjoy lining your pockets for relics. Maybe you've noticed, but the shop doesn't get many visitors, and me even less. I'll be stubborn as I like, thank you."

[focusedvoid]

They actually take a moment to imagine this. The idea of not having their Nail is outright disturbing, but a Journal as a weapon--a picture indeed. They could manage it strength-wise, but for their size, it would be quite unwieldy.

(Even when they pause to write, they're taking glances up to make certain he's...not getting worse. That's the best they can go for.)

He gives confirmation of some previous thoughts. That's important, as is the fact that he's said this. They're briefly floored, and honestly moved.

Of course he must enjoy their company. It would've been difficult to go through as much as they had as purely business partners, which they haven't been for a while now.

There's still something about it being told rather than only being implied.

...Has the Knight done the same? No, they have not.

It's good to understand enjoying my visiting is mutual.

They take a long few moments to stare at the paper before finally offering it up. They feel they've phrased that strangely, and they're too unfocused to string word together a better way.

[capitalcurator]

Lemm wasn't sure he'd actually go through with saying that. The veil of ow he's working through definitely made it harder to talk himself out of it - easier just to speak as plainly as possible and not waste the energy. But the truth is he'd been hoping he'd take that courage for a while.

The headache buffer also makes it much easier to keep his demeanour looking steady and unaffected while he waits for the Knight to craft their response.

It has not occurred to Lemm that they might be as muddled as he feels, but the odd sentence is studied with some concentration and the sentiment comes across properly on the second read-through.

Lemm is quiet for a time.

"Of course," he mumbles eventually, and maybe he'd sound more flippant if his eyes weren't fixed so intently on their words. He wants so badly to pluck it from them and put it with the others, but it'd be too obvious. Regardless it is a great effort to keep his hands still. "Ah... hm. How's - how're you and... yours?" Changing the subject slightly. Lemm gestures to the Knight and then... sort of more loosely around them.

[focusedvoid]

From spontaneous visit to concern, they hadn't braced for...this. It's the opposite of small talk, though it could possibly seem adjacent to that from the outside. 'It's good to see you.' 'How are things?' Not for them, nor for him. Not in the circumstances they've had.

The Knight is significantly off-kilter. But they can handle discussing an update.

It appears better than you currently. I've been trying to investigate some dream-related subjects.
Songstress Marissa's spirit is in the Pleasure House. She has memories when she previously seemed to forget most encounters.

That's a simpler subject than the realm they'd partly drowned. Or at least, one less likely to send them down a road of being bothered.

[capitalcurator]

Great to see you too. There's ghosts. It's actually a relief! Lemm doesn't know what he'd have done with a fine, thanks, you? and apparently they both know it.

He is definitely less troubled by this information than someone else might be. The Knight has already informed him of the Dream Nail, and at this point he's got no evidence to refute any of their outlandish claims. It's less worldshaking than finding out the person selling him relics for pocket money is actually a Higher Being and also branded as King and - well, there's a lot. Ghosts are hardly comparative.

"Songstress Marissa... Ah, now that was a famous name around here. Posters don't last, but there's a mural of her by a corner... somewhere east of the Sanctum, I think." A short pause to process, and his fingers stray to his horn again. It ends up looking more like a kind of frank, contemplative gesture than anything pain-relief related, and maybe this was on purpose. "Are you telling me the Pleasure House is haunted? By a performance ghost."

[focusedvoid]

(Asking after him now seems pointless. They're sure they can already tell, hence why they're still fairly up in his space.)

Yes. She's on the stage. Well, presumably her actual body is under it. That's an unpleasant thought they have no requirement to dwell on, and so don't.

She hasn't gone spying on anyone (that is intended reassurance, she hasn't on Lemm; for all they're aware, she might've had stranger habits in life) in the Springs if you have such concerns.

[capitalcurator]

He makes a noise that could be described as whatever keen isn't. On the stage, they tell him. He could have looked right at the spirit without realising just on his first time poking around in there.

"I'd certainly hope not! Would've had to pay an entry fee, anyway. I wouldn't put it past that dratted grifter to try to con a spectre." He sobers quickly. Now probably isn't the time for that sort of thing. "...I don't know much about the dead. Hm - I mean, after the fact. Before then it's half of my job."

Lemm looks thoughtful.

"What else have you found out about... dream subjects, then? I'll admit I'm curious. Hard to find anything on it."

[focusedvoid]

Ugh. They wouldn't put it past Millibelle to try. They'd show their thoughts on that with a flash of their Nail if they weren't so near.

...By now, they figure Lemm likely isn't going to fall right over. The Knight pops up onto the counter properly. They're talking now. In big, shouty writing.

I don't recall what you know or I've told you so far past the Dream Nail's function.

Recently, I was testing if she's the only one who can remember me now, as all nearly all forgot me as soon as I left before the Radiance was gone. Some seem to now if I stay a while. It doesn't always go well, so I'll need to be more careful not to cause upset.
I'm still trying to find the exact reasons why or if it's only myself. It's only in the early stages and won't to be easy to figure out.

[capitalcurator]

He nods along as they write, head balanced on a hand braced against his desk. He's not going to topple. Things are fine (not dying) and very quickly getting finer (way less bad). The fact he's so attentive now should be proof enough he's recovering. He was barely reactive when they walked in.

"...There's poetry about that, I think." Lemm does not move to find any, because he does not have any. The contents of his shelves are memorised. "It's all very enigmatic, but there're underlying themes of regret and..."

He drags a hand down his face. No evidence to go on, here.

"I've never seen a spirit. I wouldn't like to go on conjecture."

[focusedvoid]

They vaguely tip their head. They can't call him out as incorrect, though they hadn't been considering such terms. Perhaps they should. Poetry is a use of language that would fit many that linger.

I'd show you if I could. It'd make it easier to know if I'm the cause or not. Hallownest doesn't have many visitors or quick changes for them to notice.

Hm. Something twinges, now, as an unfortunate idea occurs. They debate over mentioning before realizing how cruel that would be. The Knight knows better than to hide the trapped dead's voices away, and Lemm is hardly unused to discomforting topics.

I would prefer if it were my direct presence. Some coming to awareness alone would be unpleasant.

[capitalcurator]

He folds his arms over his desk to get comfortable and gives a cautious shake of the head...

"I can't see what I can't see, Knight." And maybe that's not such a curse. His career is bent around the dead. Even hearing that some folklore may potentially have truth to it is already unsettling enough. The common bug was not meant to know that every grave might be overseen. A Relic Seeker maybe even less so.

He retreats from this subject with what limited grace he has.

"Give... Hm. No, nothing from me, I've got nothing to say to a spirit." Lemm feels comfortable enough with this verdict. "I'll keep digging on Moth folklore, but I've barely found a scrap. You may be on your own with whatever you're chasing here, but if it's worth putting in the record, keep me in the loop." His fingers rap the stack of papers.

...And slide off. This is not business. They said so.

"I'd been meaning to ask." He pretends to study the far wall. It's headache stuff. Never mind that it's wearing off. "We aren't ready for a proper expedition, are we?"

[focusedvoid]

This is reasonable. Frustrating to them, but he has no requirement to get involved, and they were only musing in the first place. (Novel, letting someone read their relatively-idle thoughts.)

Seer is alive, but seems preoccupied with other company, they offer first, before straightening slightly. Right, they'd fully forgotten.

I believe I should scout an area for threats a little while before going through, if that's agreeable. There is somewhere I have you may be interested in, though some crawling will be necessary to get there.

The Knight pauses. They'd found references to her name, but had only thought of her as the Grey Mourner. They stare at the paper, trying to recall. They had, correct?

[capitalcurator]

Being told the Seer may be busy is pretty validating - not wanting to disturb someone is a great excuse for simply not going to see them. Their first line gets a nod. Although he does catch himself wondering - what other company? If the Knight isn't telling, it probably isn't for him to investigate for now. He has been putting certain things off and he does not mind putting them off further.

"I'd agree with you going ahead. I don't want a repeat of last time any more than you do." Lemm's happy with their response. It's basically what he was looking for.

"If you think somewhere'd be relevant to me I've plenty of reason to trust your judgement. My concern, Knight: you said it yourself, we're not used to partnered travel. Before we tackle anywhere too involved -" Fog Canyon or Deepnest or the Abyss, he doesn't say! "- I'd rather get some more practice in. Maybe you've had the same thought."

[focusedvoid]

This nets him several nods. A small flicker of relief, as well; while they didn't truly expect him to want to forge somewhere particularly difficult, it's a good suggestion to have put on the table.

And his open acknowledgement of trusting their judgement is...nice.

(This visit is gathering nearly as many jolts as the last, albeit not so many awful ones.)

I agree. I'm rustier than I realized, even without accounting for how Hallownest is slightly less familiar than it was.

There is a mansion of a Great Knight hidden away. The route is below the Resting Grounds through some narrow tunnels, and the Mansion itself seems safe after I went through. I believe that would fit nicely.

[capitalcurator]

Rustier than they realised. This probably isn't what they mean, he's almost sure they mean with a Nail, but there are certain times they've seemed... off. Now isn't the time to bring that up, either, he decides.

Anyway, he brightens up considerably at the prospect they've just presented.

"A Great Knight... You found where one lived?" Lemm turns with a little too much enthusiasm to examine his shelves, as evidenced by a small wince. "I was on the verge of making those five my focus before you came along. Ah, you do know how to get a Relic Seeker's attention! Yes, we'll go there. It'll be a grand sidetrack while we - acclimatise."

As the headache ebbs, his filter's coming back in force. Still, he can't keep the approving note out of his voice. "What a guide you're turning out to be."