You don't get it! If I'm a toy, everything about me will be a lie! I'd never have my powers! I wouldn't have absolute control of the timelines! I can't have my revenge, I won't have any souls, I'm back to feeling nothing, I wouldn't have known my best friend... I won't even HAVE a best friend in the first place--!
[A terrible thought wiggles its way through him like a worm. The more he tried denying it, the harder it pushed back: if he was a toy, it explained everything about the gaps in his memory. Why he remembered being friends with Chara, but the specific details regarding the tapes and the photographs and the buttercups are a complete blank. If it wasn't explored in the canon of Undertale... it wasn't there. That's why he can remember Chara killing him--it actually happened in one of the many paths of the game. Why he remembered tricking everybody and stealing their souls. Yet he can't remember anything beyond changing into his final form and begging Chara to let him win, and... and Chara took advantage of him and locked him away... or did they?
The Hypergod of Death had been sealed away. No, that wasn't it. He got put into a box. When he woke up, it hadn't been from a deep sleep. He... He never had a past. Then why did he have those memories? Why couldn't he have been born without them? Why did he feel like he betrayed his friend yet again? Why did he feel so insignificant...?
He can't stop crying. But there shouldn't be anything to cry about! Why is he so pathetic? So weak? So... afraid?]
no subject
[A terrible thought wiggles its way through him like a worm. The more he tried denying it, the harder it pushed back: if he was a toy, it explained everything about the gaps in his memory. Why he remembered being friends with Chara, but the specific details regarding the tapes and the photographs and the buttercups are a complete blank. If it wasn't explored in the canon of Undertale... it wasn't there. That's why he can remember Chara killing him--it actually happened in one of the many paths of the game. Why he remembered tricking everybody and stealing their souls. Yet he can't remember anything beyond changing into his final form and begging Chara to let him win, and... and Chara took advantage of him and locked him away... or did they?
The Hypergod of Death had been sealed away. No, that wasn't it. He got put into a box. When he woke up, it hadn't been from a deep sleep. He... He never had a past. Then why did he have those memories? Why couldn't he have been born without them? Why did he feel like he betrayed his friend yet again? Why did he feel so insignificant...?
He can't stop crying. But there shouldn't be anything to cry about! Why is he so pathetic? So weak? So... afraid?]