boxfullofzeroes | voicetest the voiceless

voicetest the voiceless

They're not dead.

Less dead than they'd felt, at least. Their shell doesn't normally take so long to reform.

Then again. Their shell doesn't usually break of their own violation as they ascended in a boiling rage, ate at least one realm, a god, and all the Godseekers.

(That last point is debatable, actually. There's some odd sense, deep under their...shell? Void? Wherever they once stored things like Isma's Tear, much deeper now...that the sea-mind is still there, sluggish and held in a stasis. They're already adjusting enough, and they don't seem to be dying or trying to kill them, so that problem is neatly sorted as 'for later'.)

They push their body to stand. Their horn clangs uncomfortably loudly against the grate they've apparently woken up beneath. They're somewhere in the Royal Waterways. A quick check of the map--or, not so quick, as it takes time to locate where it had been--shows they've risen about halfway through, closer to the City of Tears than the White Palace. They'll go to the Stag Station in the City Storerooms next.

So they think. Complications arise on the way.

The Infection is gone, leaving dead Flukes, Pilflips, and Hwurmps in piles enough it takes time to force their way past. Their body seems too small. No, their body is fine--there's something wrong with perception itself. That will take time to adjust to.

Then, they discover the Monarch Wings now stretch and warp when used, twisting around the nearest pipes after landing before the Knight forcibly calls them back. Shade Wings, they decide to call these.

Once they're high enough to hear the rain above, they realize a noise they'd ascribed to water running in the distance is, in fact, something swirling behind their mask. Many somethings. All the fragments of Siblings with enough self left, staring out from their eyes. It's disconcerting.

By the time they actually get out of the Waterways, they're using their Shade Wings to grip ledges and drag themselves up, with those holding onto things better than their own arms are with the Mantis Claw.

The Knight faceplants awkwardly onto the floor of the building Lemm's shop is in. If the City is the same as below, there's little left to try killing them in the area.

They'll just take a moment here, thanks.

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They motion agreement. They've learned that lesson. Among several others, all stacked atop each other.

His movement is watched. The specifics are out of sight, but he's clearly fidgeting.

~~I'm~~ You can ask about them whenever you like.
Or them. Greenhorn is still the only so bold to answer in-person, though others are growing braver.

He peers at their writing with a suspicious squint, like he's bracing. It fades into a blink.

It all feels rather silly; precautions taken for no reason. Curtains, and the like. The Hollow Knight hadn't seemed to care for it, or anything else he'd done. He wants to accommodate. He is still uselessly at square one.

...The Hunter's Journal. Right.

Shaking himself out of it with a roll of the shoulders normally reserved for a more charged interaction, he offers the Knight a nod - likely he will ask about them again - and moves on.

Void Tendrils. A note that is certainly from the Hunter, on bugs' theories and strange fancies. Lemm scoffs.

Hornet. He isn't ready to discuss her again so soon. Little more to be gained there. It is noted that the Knight has fought her - difficult, they'd called her, and he agrees - and he notes what's written, and moves on.

The Pure Vessel.

This he studies again, even on his second pass. It's the Hollow Knight, obviously, or - it's what they were supposed to be, if he's putting all the pieces together right. It should make him feel reverent, he thinks. Even as he doesn't. Bitterness pools in the gap.

"...How's that?" He points at it. It's in the Hunter's Journal. That probably merits an explanation.

Lemm points to their sibling, standing tall, and asks a question.

Which they don't quite understand. They deliberately tip their head to the side before trying to answer anyway.

My sibling, before the Radiance's inflicted damage. Clearly?

Edited 2023-02-23 23:09 (UTC)

He frowns, or not so much emotionally frowns as just... scrunches. Again.

"I can see," he informs them. Then realises what he's said, and to whom. The expression vanishes with an internal lurch.

Wide-eyed, he tries again.

"I meant why are they here." There is a somewhat Tiktik-before-a-Nail look about him, after that.

Ah. Right, it must be strange to see them.

Ascending Godhome involved battling all the Godseekers considered gods in Hallownest. Several appeared in their prime. Nailsage Sly is an example, the Knight answers without a beat.

The 'Pure Vessel' was penultimate to the Radiance. They were an incredible challenge. It was infuriating at the time, try after try after so much work, falling to their blade. With success and hindsight, they write this with deep respect.

He listens carefully. With this and what they've said before, he is starting to piece together a more proper idea of what this 'Godhome' entails. The Knight fought... likely most of this journal, if not all of it. Certainly many of the later additions.

"Their training had to've been unusual." Yes. Obviously.

Lemm retreats from that, feeling uninformed. He thinks of the Hollow Knight's statue, tall and stylised in the square. The anchors on the floor inside the Black Egg, and the ceremonial look of this image. The Pure Vessel fits the narrative.

- The Hollow Knight in his shop, slumped and motionless on a pillow looking terribly out of place, rigid and strange when he'd been commanding by accident.

That does not.

"The Pure Vessel," he repeats, from the Knight's speech even though it was written in the Hunter's Journal first. The title sits strange in his mouth in a way it perhaps wouldn't have, before they properly met.

No, he doesn't like that, apparently.

"I know how to keep my mouth shut," he repeats, this time as a query.

Their capabilities with Soul outclassed anything I have ever seen. Their Nailwork was awe-inspiring. I --shouldn't get lost in detailing the many ways their sibling killed them, they realize just before they start detailing the blade-like pillars they cold summon. would like to learn some of it if they're ever willing. There, that's neutral enough.

And it seems their disdain for the title came through fine on its own. Strange to train a Vessel meant only to hold a god, they note, strokes of the quill rougher than need be.

The Knight pauses, but not for long. I despise the titles my sibling was given. Chronicle what you need for the truth; I won't directly use either beyond this.

Edited 2023-02-24 07:26 (UTC)

Lemm expected many things; this level of admiration was not one of them, though this was largely because he hadn't known the Pure Vessel's skills. Basic knight training, yes, he'd assumed; strange indeed that it ever went beyond that.

They'll let this go in the record. Lemm finds himself uncomfortable with including it, but what is this to the rest of the Abyss? More of the same. Details that paint the truth of what was done. There are more of these than he expected.

"I'll take no pleasure in calling them that even once, if it risks shaping the thoughts of whoever's reading. I'll have to think about it." He shakes his head. "And it's not just your permission I'll need, is it?"

Lemm gazes down at the image, at the Godseekers' poetry. It's too easy to picture this Knight and imagine that their job was ordinary - that they lived a life in service of the King, and the Memorial outside might pay respect to some grand choice they'd made.

Illusion of choice, Lemm thinks, and is not prepared for the nausea that hits when his mind helpfully supplies a faint sketch of the Great Knights and a detail of something small.

He tears his eyes off the page and manages himself carefully into detached academia, letting none of his unsteadiness bleed through.

"They did a clever little blink in my shop, but I'd not thought it might go so much further than that. I'm more relieved than I was that their Nail was on my side."

Yes. Lemm would understand better than they. And of course their sibling should have input about themselves.

Godhome is real. Godhome is dream. The Knight tore their way through battle after battle enough that the truth of the beings they fought was lost, for a time. Whatever they saw had been real, once. It was easy to forget. It still matters.

Their claws close thoughtfully around the Dream Nail's hilt. Tap, tap, tap that. Many, many things to ask their sibling, and they hold no illusion they'll necessarily be given answers.

Did they? He's already said they were fine. Did both of us make a mess of your shop? they add, deliberately sweeping their head with partly-forced levity at the packed shelves.

He's not under the impression that he is guaranteed to be allowed to include this just because the Knight agreed. The Hollow Knight's answer really might be 'no'. This is for future Lemm to prepare for.

He follows their gesture with an uncertain glance until what they're asking makes sense, and Lemm is very quick to put that to rights.

"No! No. Barely moved while they were here. Seems a careful hand runs in the family." This at least isn't intended as some kind of fluffy little compliment, it's just the truth as he sees it. Lemm approves of it in a much more clinical sort of way.

... Also, this next part was going to have to come to light sooner or later. It comes out in a quiet, gruff admission.

"Had them polishing relics." A nod at the small collection on the dresser. "Seemed to kill the time."

The Knight is still pleased, praise for them and their sibling at once. They trust in Lemm's honesty. They're comfortable enough to do another half-bow at it.

When they twist to look, the collection is obvious, pieces deliberately placed from everything else.

Huh.

Picturing them doing such is difficult. They're each polished to absolute amazing shine, which makes it slightly easier.

Lemm waits for some kind of reaction, and finds himself strangely uncomfortable when there isn't one. There's supposed to be one. Isn't there?

- This is the Knight, not... It's the Knight. They know him. Of course they didn't take badly to this. Lemm blinks down at the counter and not-so-smoothly moves on, in the hopes his expectant silence went unnoticed.

"They did a fine job of it. Anyway the business with Hornet was sudden, and they moved faster than I saw. Nothing was knocked though." Maybe that's of some note to the Knight, that the Hollow Knight's motor control was well enough for that.

Lemm moves on. And the next thing to move on to is a big one.

He re-reads the Hunter's appraisal of the Radiance, and sits with that for a while.

Edited (next not last. shade is last) 2023-02-24 09:14 (UTC)

They eye him a moment, and figure he's thinking what next to say. Their sibling's ability to move so quickly, or teleport, is enough to keep them occupied until he finds it. They decide it's a positive sign.

And now they're looking down at the Radiance.

They copied her appearance down with accuracy. The Knight noticed, even then, that she didn't look like something so cruel and ruinous.

They suppose they should hate her more. She was the root of it all, and yet cold rage isn't so swift to rise as it once was.

They can still feel her agonizing light rendered useless trying to scorch them in their final moments, and all that soft fluff shredding to dream motes underneath their claws.

It was nearly pathetic, after all it took to bring her to that point.

His thoughts are, perhaps surprisingly, similarly angled.

This is the root of the dream-plague that brought the fabled Kingdom of Hallownest not just to its knees, but to the ground. It is a Higher Being, and the answer to... everything, really. All of his searching and questioning led him here, to finding out what the Radiance is - and, now, what she looks like. Not a single other Relic Seeker in the world could hope to know what Lemm now knows.

This is a drawing of a Higher Being and it... lacks, somehow. This is not about the illustration, he thinks. The illustration is fine.

Lemm stares quietly at it a while longer, trying to place the feeling.

Ah. Detached. That's to be expected, actually.

"Hard to think of what to ask."

Hopefully this explains his silence. There's another one now.

"She wasn't my plague," he continues, somewhat stuntedly. "As many accounts as I got through I don't think I'll ever grasp what it was like. Not that I'm complaining," he pointedly adds. "Lets me do my job properly, and look at history from the outside. S'a bit harder with other things. Just hard to think of the right questions."

The Knight is perfectly capable of waiting.

Still. They don't want to wait for her. They can offer some information, starting as straightforwardly as possible.

She was a large being. Her smaller horns were longer than my body. currently is.
She first appeared in the dream's sky as the sun itself. She took my challenging her personally rather than staying away, where it was safer.
Fitting to her name, most of her attacks burned gold and streaked like sunbeams. She summoned blades but seemed comparatively unskilled with them.
The core of her, within the shadows around her eyes, appeared to be a glowing orb.

Edited 2023-02-24 10:26 (UTC)

He looks up, pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of their pen.

As he reads, he catches himself wanting to take notes, but this - these are notes, he'd just be making a copy.

Lemm settles for trying to picture what he can manage, occasionally glancing back at the Radiance's entry to remind himself of the details.

"Perfect," he assesses of the information they're giving him, glad they have direction when he was sorely lacking it. "Yes. Your account of the battle..." That's likely the most vital thing the Knight can give him; the Radiance was largely a mystery to them too until recently. He commits all of this to memory.

"As the Lord of Shades you'll likely know this better than I," he adds, with a nod that is respectful but not devout. "But there's always a centre, or a domain of a sort. If - when I speak with your Moth friend I'll ask about that, I think. Best to get it straight from someone who already has the nuance of her."

He studies their writing again, and then taps the page lightly with two fingers.

"Might I keep that?"

They nod, but keep the paper where it is. I can be more detailed about the battle, I'll just need a little time to think the steps through. They died so many times just before they reached the end, some of their memories are...unclear by frustration and exhaustion. They haven't stopped to actually think the whole thing since it happened.

The Knight props the Dream Nail up with one leg, staring down through the circle that forms the start of its 'blade'.

The bit of counter visible through the flower-like shape is colored the faintest trace of purple.

I plan on going to ask her a few questions after this. Would you like to come with me?

"Take your time." On top of the gravity of all Lemm is also simply morbidly curious to hear about the fight. Anyone would be. A scholar to whose field of study the battle is relevant, doubly so.

Lemm is also interested in the Dream Nail, though as with all artifacts that do not belong to him he is quieter about it. He eyes it now feeling strangely wary. It pulled a thought out of him, and that had been... unsettling. And it reaps the dead, as some cultures might put it. He can't help but be offput.

At the invitation, Lemm looks up to meet their gaze and decides that if he takes his time to answer he'll end up finding an excuse to say no.

"I'll come." The would you like to part is strategically not answered. "Unless you'd rather keep your questions private." Even then he could wait outside, so that's nothing. See, the excuses are trying so hard already.

They shake their head. I'm looking to see if she might have ideas/hints of what I can do for Myla. Nothing terribly secretive--it might be best to have another there for perspective.

Actually, that isn't right. They would like some privacy.

I think she has guests, but I'll request they leave. I don't want

They pause.

They don't want anyone else to know. Naturally. And yet writing it so clearly seems nearly insulting. Shouldn't what the Knight did--

No, it's not anyone else's business. That's guilt driving them toward unreasonable decision. That's genuinely best to leave to later.

I don't want it spread around, they finish with. Obviously.

"Ah." Yes, that makes sense. A lot of this seems to be tied to Dream and a Moth might certainly know more. This gets a nod, and he thinks he'll try to help sort through the facts, if it comes to it.

Something stays their hand mid-sentence, which is a good indicator to Lemm that there is maybe a problem. When they finish it becomes clearer.

"Aye. Best you sort through that with some privacy," he agrees, just to show them he agrees. (Maybe he'll stand around at their shoulder looking intimidating, if there's any fuss or pushback or questions they don't like the sound of. Lemm is pretty sure he can still pull that off.) "I'll not breathe a word of it."

Thank you. Indeed, that's filed away along with the rest of earlier conversation. More defenses for their mind and emotion turning against them is better.

Next, the Knight pushes over their previous paper and takes out another.

At the top: Absolute Radiance

...This will take a while.

It begins as an organized list of attacks, alongside notes of their own tactics. They write through the first phase cleanly enough, with an aside about being highly irritated by the glowing light she summoned that chased them.

They note the Void rising as their rage did.

The Knight goes back to write how the Radiance appeared, after defeating their sibling, her enraged scream and the burst of light pouring into their dark arena. Then they mention their first time defeating their sibling and the dream of Void they reached, with other siblings, and their defeated one standing in front of them as they were as a hatchling, before the Radiance interrupted the moment.

They're getting off track.

It had been a useful motivator, they conclude, and go back to how they had to chase her. Her beams' aim at that point was terrible. They'd barely had to dodge.

Lemm flicks a hand instead of a you're-welcome. Goes without saying.

He watches as they write, though from a safely non-looming distance. Likely they need to focus to remember the details. Maybe they need that first note out in the open for the moment, so when he slides it across to join the stack (and he does.) he leaves it sitting neatly on the top, visible.

Lemm reads their account without veiling his interest; he doesn't think he should try to be dispassionate, though his contributions and questions are very few. They're doing a fine job of covering what they feel they should cover, and he'd rather not risk derailment. And when their mind does wander...

Well, he'll be remembering all of that, too. Whether or not something is clinically pertinent to include in his - rather, their project, is not as important as the fact that he witnesses whatever they give him. In short, they've convinced him before that they want him to know, so... he'll know.

...He is also, without really being aware of it, watching them for tells, though they seem to be steady enough as they write. Lemm can't help it. He is after all reading about his friend fighting a god. All the context and extenuating circumstances in the world couldn't prevent a little concern.

They've fought gods, in word or truth. They beat the body of one off its throne and stole half a soul from its corpse. They keep from writing the details of their dream-deaths, partly minding Lemm, partly because it had happened so many times it'd feel a waste of paper.

It's her interrupting their sibling that the tips of their wings press unnaturally long and flat against the counter.

(Entirely still, though. They've found much control since getting them.)

They finish with another flash of irritation that they had to dodge her on two spindly platforms, and how the Godseekers' Tuning overwhelmed all else.

When she was weakened enough, I pulled the Void that followed us up/I dropped in to join it? (Can't remember this well.) It came together with me, and I became the Lord of Shades.
Thorny tendrils (same as end of first phase) kept her from attempting further flight. I exposed the glowing core and tore her apart with my other claws. It was enough to shred her into dream motes, and the rest rose to drown those until she was completely gone.

He sits back, after that. Thinking it all over, trying to make sense of the concepts that don't come naturally, things he has only had to get his head around since coming to Hallownest, and then only recently.

Their explanation is as straightforward as it could be, and tells him more detail about the unification of Void that their previous mentions didn't give.

It is also fairly graphic. The violent death of a god could be nothing else, but the Knight's word choices are... notable.

(Lemm can believe the destruction of the Coliseum all the more for their descriptiveness.)

There's a long pause as it all sinks in properly. Then:

"What a -" (a terribly foreign word, here, that sounds vastly unpleasant in the way he stresses it and means something along the lines of 'fuckoff') "- nightmare."

Lemm folds his arms, glaring at the paper, then heaves a sigh of dogged finality and looks up to meet the Knight with a much more even look.

"It obviously wasn't luck that brought that fight to the finish, but there're few ways of saying it otherwise. I'll consider us damn lucky you came out of that the victor."

The Knight's head snaps up to stare.

They hadn't forgotten Lemm was there, exactly, they just...they got a little lost in the telling.

Jerkily, they nod. Yes, it was.

Yes, it was. Obviously. Everything would have gotten worse, until all was wiped out nearby or she got out, bursting their sibling to pieces and able to lash out as she pleased to what was left.

They knew this, but here it is again: having someone properly express it is different from only considering it alone.

This is the end of the Radiance. Their quill hangs above the paper.

They can add how angry they were. They can add how they nearly, so very nearly lost themselves.

...There are more effects of the Radiance they can focus on, as well. If Lemm has any questions.

The Knight pulls their paw back.

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