"Ha! Very funny - but you may have the right idea. If I laid claim to the entire city maybe I'd get to set a few rules." He sighs in exaggerated mock wistfulness. "Those two are evicted, for a start. And I'll have a rule about trotting around damp in private property, and even your Brand won't have a leg to stand on." Not how it works, he's certain, but he'll overlook that for this.

"...No, you're probably right about that. Then again, who goes around fixing things in a kingdom-wide plague?" A shrug. "They used to have noticeboards for these things. You could always start small, and ask for something closer to home."